Here we go again- Interview Tomorrow

I have another job interview tomorrow. Remember how conflicted I felt about the last one? I thought that I had a better handle this time around. I was all prepared to write a wonderfully coherent blog post about why I thought we should really consider me going back to work- having group health benefits, a company match 401(K) and college and emergency funds. As I sit here trying to explain those reasons, they all seem hollow. I have encountered plenty of bloggers who make things work without health insurance, a huge emergency fund or regular income.

Just this morning, I checked out Brandi's site- The Prudent Homemaker. Brandi and her family don't have health insurance. She doesn't even go the grocery store on a regular basis- she and her family survive (and thrive) off the food she has stockpiled in their home and the food that they grow in their yard. In the desert of Las Vegas. I guess I can't use that whole weird climate thing as an excuse for my dead herb garden. No one tell my mother-in-law, okay?

All these reasons for wanting to go back to work- health insurance, the 401(K) and college and emergency funds seem like valid, virtuous reasons to go out and get a job. Part of me thinks it's downright irresponsible to have a child and not have health insurance, but on the other hand, we can't insure against the most devastating of things. Even with health insurance, you can end up with some pretty big hospital bills. Brandi and her family faced some pretty big things without health insurance, including a child's broken arm and a pregnancy. They got through them and I certainly would not consider Brandi to be a bad or irresponsible parent. Am I really willing to sacrifice being there daily for my child in order to have money in the bank or stashed away somewhere for retirement? If he were gone tomorrow, would I rather have a fat emergency fund or the time with him? That answer is amazingly easy to figure out- but it's not that simple.

It all just makes me wonder if deep down, I want to go back to work for the old reasons- the ones that I thought I'd gotten over- the need to have the proof of a paycheck every other week to prove my worth, wanting to wear nice clothes and interact with adults. Am I willing to leave my child every day so that we can afford vacations or new furniture?

So apparently I'm still conflicted. I'm going tomorrow with an open mind. We'll see how it goes and if they are even going to offer me the job and put me in a position where I have to choose. Until then, I'm trying to enjoy every minute I have at home and with my little boy. Even if I don't go back to work, he's still growing up WAY TOO FAST!!!