You get as good as you give.

One of my biggest struggles as a SAHM is the lack of recognition that I receive. I'm not looking for a purple heart or anything- this isn't Iraq or Afghanistan, I know. BUT it's also not like my one year old son says, "Gee mom, thanks for changing my diaper for the tenth time today. It really feels great when I'm not all wet." Nope, instead I carry him, kicking and screaming, into the bedroom, pin him down, rip off the old diaper and strap on the new one while trying to make sure that he doesn't wriggle his way off the bed.

My husband is much more likely to ask why something DOESN'T get done than appreciate something that DOES. I spent a good chunk of my son's nap time last week mopping the miles of tile that we have in this house. It took two dirty water buckets, but I got ALL the tile clean at one time. First time since we moved in about 10 months ago, I'm embarrassed to admit. The next morning when I woke up, I really enjoyed seeing ALL the tile clean- no dog drool, no crumbs ANYWHERE. I asked my husband, "Don't the floors look nice, hon?" His response? "Let me go look at them- yeah, I guess so." He was there while I was mopping- it's not like he came home and I expected him to notice- he knew that I had mopped the floors. And yet instead of just giving me the praise or recognition that I was looking for, he felt the need to actually inspect the floors.

We had a little discussion a few days later where he accused me of not being supportive. He was probably right- I probably could have been more kind in what I said, but there are times when I feel like I've got nothing else to give. I've mopped, cooked, cleaned, wiped, changed and laundered til I'm blue in the face and it seems like no one notices. I certainly don't get a paycheck at the end of the week for a job well done. And there are times that I just feel like I cannot possibly do ANOTHER thing. So when my husband needed me to be supportive, and I was feeling completely unsupported and unencouraged, I told him, "Sometimes you get as good as you give."

Then came yesterday's message at church. The reading:

Matthew 5:3-10 (New International Version)

³"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
⁵Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
⁶Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
⁷Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
⁸Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
⁹Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
¹⁰Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

(from Biblegateway)

Now, I'm not exactly sure that Jesus was talking to the SAHM when he said all this, but it sure spoke to this SAHM. "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the peacemakers." It looks like I was right- you really DO get as good as you give.

And it's even more powerful when you read it in The Message:

Matthew 5:3-10 (The Message)

³"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

⁴"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

⁵"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

⁶"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

⁷"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

⁸"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

⁹"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

(Still from Biblegateway)

"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for." Strong stuff there I think. And maybe not a paycheck, but something I'm banking on this week.